After all the snow, something to laugh about.

This is not a true story, but it is just that. A story and one that is really funny. I hope you will enjoy.

December 8

6:00 PM. It started to snow. The first snow of the season and the wife and I took our coffee and sat for hours by the window watching the huge soft flakes drift down from heaven. It looked like a Grandma Moses Print. So romantic we felt like newlyweds again. I love snow!

December 9

We woke to a beautiful blanket of crystal white snow covering every inch of the landscape. What a fantastic sight! Can there be a more lovely place in the Whole World? Moving here was the best idea I've ever had. Shoveled for the first time in years and felt like a boy again. I did both our driveway and the sidewalks. This afternoon the snowplow came along and covered up the sidewalks and closed in the driveway, so I got to shovel again. What a perfect life.

December 12

The sun has melted all our lovely snow. Such a disappointment. My neighbor tells me not to worry, we'll definitely have a white Christmas. No snow on Christmas would be awful! Bob says we'll have so much snow by the end of winter, that I'll never want to see snow again. I don't think that's possible. Bob is such a nice man, I'm glad he's our neighbor.

December 14

Snow lovely snow! 8" last night. The temperature dropped to -20. The cold makes everything sparkle so. The wind took my breath away, but I warmed up by shoveling the driveway and sidewalks. This is the life!

The snowplow came back this afternoon and buried everything again. I didn't realize I would have to do quite this much shoveling, but I'll certainly get back in shape this way.

December 15

20 inches forecast. Sold my van and bought a 4x4 Blazer. Bought snow tires for the wife's car and 2 extra shovels. Stocked the freezer.

The wife wants a wood stove in case the electricity goes out. I think that's silly. We aren't in Alaska, after all.

December 16

Ice storm this morning. Fell on my butt on the ice in the driveway putting down salt. Hurt like heck. The wife laughed for one hour, which I think was very cruel.

December 17

Still way below freezing. Roads are too icy to go anywhere.

Electricity was off for 5 hours. I had to pile the blankets on to stay warm. Nothing to do but stare at the wife and try not to irritate her. Guess I should've bought a wood stove, but won't admit it to her. God I hate it when she's right. I can't believe I'm freezing to death in my own living room.

December 20

Electricity's back on, but had another 14" of the crap last night. More shoveling. Took all day. Darn snowplow came by twice.

Tried to find a neighbor kid to shovel, but they said they're too busy playing hockey. I think they're lying. Called the only hardware store around to see about buying a snow blower and they're out. Might have another shipment in March. I think they're lying. Bob says I have to shovel or the city will have it done and bill me. I think he's lying.

December 22

Bob was right about a white Christmas because 13 more inches of the white stuff fell today, and it's so cold it probably won't melt till August. Took me 45 minutes to get all dressed up to go out to shovel and then I had to go to the bathroom. By the time I got undressed, and dressed again, I was too tired to shovel. Tried to hire Bob who has a plow on his truck for the rest of the winter; but he says he's too busy. I think the jerk is lying.

December 23

Only 2" of snow today. And it warmed up to 0. The wife wanted me to decorate the front of the house this morning. What is she nuts!!! Why didn't she tell me to do that a month ago? She says she did but I think she's lying.

December 24

6". Snow packed so hard by snowplow, I broke the shovel. Thought I was having a heart attack. If I ever catch the man who drives that snowplow I'll drag him through the snow by his nose and beat him to death with my broken shovel. I know he hides around the corner and waits for me to finish shoveling and then he comes down the street at 100 miles an hour and throws snow all over where I've just been!

Tonight the wife wanted me to sing Christmas carols with her and open our presents, but I was too busy watching for the snowplow.

December 25

Merry -bleeping- Christmas! 20 more inches of the stuff tonight. Snowed in. The idea of shoveling makes my blood boil. I hate the snow! Then the snowplow driver came by asking for a donation and I hit him over the head with my shovel. The wife says I have a bad attitude. I think she's an idiot. If I have to watch "It's A Wonderful Life" one more time, I'm going to stuff her into the microwave.

December 26

Still snowed in. Why the heck did I ever move here? It was all HER idea. She's really getting on my nerves.

December 27

Temperature dropped to -30 and the pipes froze, plumber came after 14 hours of waiting for him, he only charged me $1400 to replace all my pipes.

December 28

Warmed up to above -20. Still snowed in. THE WITCH is driving me crazy!!!

December 29

10 more inches. Bob says I have to shovel the roof or it could cave in. That's the silliest thing I ever heard. How dumb does he think I am?

December 30

Roof caved in. I beat up the snow plow driver and he is now suing me for a million dollars for the beating I gave him. The wife went home to her mother. 9" predicted.

December 31

I set fire to what's left of the house. No more shoveling.

January 8

Feel so good. I just love those little white pills they keep giving me. Why am I tied to the bed?

Until next time,

Thank you Lord for snow!

Happy New Year!

I just can't believe that it is really 2011. Seems like yesterday we were all going on about Y2K and now more than a decade has past. With a new year comes resolutions and a time of reflection. I won't do either, but I have decided to recount my many blessings.

I am so thankful for the many blessings that God has bestowed on me. I know that I am not worthy of them and yet He has graciously decided to give them to me anyway.

My family is one of my most precious gifts. He has blessed me with a Godly husband who loves our family and works so hard to support us not only financially but spiritually as well. I never have to wonder if we are going to church on Sunday or if he will be praying for us as we face whatever obstacles the Lord has allowed to enter our lives. I also have wonderful children. They are a joy and a constant source of prayer all at the same time. I so desperately want to be the Godly mother they deserve and I pray daily that I won't fail them.

I also have a wonderful extended family. My parents have loved and guided me through the years and continue to do so with love and a covering of prayer. I have Godly in-laws who have accepted me and loved me as their daughter and not just their son's wife. I have a Godly brother who not only works in the ministry but tries to live it out daily. And I have a brother in-law and sister in-law who I love as a true brother and sister.

My church is another blessing from God. No, I don't always agree with all that goes on, but I do agree that Clayton Baptist is striving to reach people for Christ. I  have been blessed to be not only a member of this body of believers, but an AWANA leader, and Women's Discipleship leader. I take these places of leadership very seriously. I know that I am held to a higher stander and try to be worthy of that calling. In all actuality, I am not.

My most undeserved blessing is that I have been given the gift of salvation. Why God chose me is something I can't fathom. I have done nothing to deserve it and never will. Which is what grace is all about. It's about Him and not about me. He has given me not only grace, but mercy, love, and somehow His favor. I was rescued from my sins more than 20 years ago and it still makes me so humble to realize that I am in His plan.

I pray that my friends and family have a wonderful 2011.

Until next time,

Sending you all love and peace for a Happy New Year.